I think the most common question people ask about The Room is, "Why do you play football in tuxedos from a few feet away?"
Sure, this is not a common practice. However, is it the first time in human history that it has happened? Probably not.
Zakoo Turtle 51 Sawyer Nena
That's probably the first time in human history that sentence has been written. Now that's an accomplishment.
But how unlikely is it that you'd be at a wedding, the groom and groomsmen are standing around, someone has a football. We're in tuxes, so how gritty can we really get right now? Let's just toss it around, talk about life.
It probably was weirder when they threw the ball around in the alley in regular clothes.
The more important question to ask is whether or not we should all be out tossing the football with friends in formal wear. How often are we really doing fun outdoor activities with loved ones? We're stuck at the computer, the TV, Netflix, and online video games.
Johnny wants to connect with the people in his life. They probably just need to be more careful. Twice playing football within a few feet of each other someone got injured.
And has anyone in human history ever been burned as badly as Peter? I mean, he got pwned by Denny. BY DENNY! "Gee, your clumsy Peter."
I'm thinking this is why Peter probably walked off of the set.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Saturday, July 16, 2011
What about Elizabeth?
Seriously, what about her?
Why couldn't we get any more of Elizabeth, Denny's future future wife?
A woman so amazing, Denny ignores his love of Lisa. In an instant.
We're all out there, looking for Elizabeth, in this college of life.
Why couldn't we get any more of Elizabeth, Denny's future future wife?
A woman so amazing, Denny ignores his love of Lisa. In an instant.
We're all out there, looking for Elizabeth, in this college of life.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Johnny Gives a Life Lesson to Us All
In today's America, we live in stress and fear. In fear that we'll be jobless, penniless, earthless, and alone. Is the sun going to burn us away, or will the polar ice caps flood us all into some "waterworld" (a term I just came up with, and in no way has been used before), or will we all be homeless when the social networking bubble bursts in 2012?
Oh yeah, and then there's 2012. When Roland Emmerich collapses the earth unto itself and we're left with nothing but more John Cusack movies.
We live in constant fear of armageddon, carmageddon, and GregAndDarhmageddon.
Truthfully, this is not a new concept. If nothing else, we are living in the best age in human civilization. We combat diseases like never before, we are so rich that we worry when we have to save for two whole weeks for an iPad2(zomg!), and we can play Words with Friends on an airplane. What more could you ask for?
But if we didn't have anything to fear, how would the local news stay on the air? You can only watch stories of cats having a litter of 12 for so long. (Okay, I would actually watch that news everyday.)
This constant cycle of fear however encompasses us all. It's the fear that drives us, but is that fear necessary. Are we doing too much for tomorrow and not living for today? Growing up, it was Alfred E Newman's "What me worry?" that was my driving force for living in the now. Today, it's every American going around saying "Don't worry about it!"
Johnny's "Don't worry about it!" lets us know that everythings going to be okay. No matter what is happening with your love life, your job, or the earth, simply "Don't worry about it!" If you have a not-quite-adopted-half-man-half-child asking you what movie to see, simply let him know that you "Don't plan too much, it may not come out right."
You're right Johnny, why make any plans at all? Afterall, they may not come out right. What if you planned on seeing Transformers 3, but they were sold-out and you had to see Cars 2? What would you do then and how could you seriously look Denny in the face after you promised him Shia LaBeouf?
Instead we say, "Don't worry about it." Worry gets us nothing but lines on our face, and planning gives us nothing but false hope. If the world does end today, seriously don't worry about it. It wasn't something we could have, or should have, planned for.
Oh yeah, and then there's 2012. When Roland Emmerich collapses the earth unto itself and we're left with nothing but more John Cusack movies.
We live in constant fear of armageddon, carmageddon, and GregAndDarhmageddon.
Truthfully, this is not a new concept. If nothing else, we are living in the best age in human civilization. We combat diseases like never before, we are so rich that we worry when we have to save for two whole weeks for an iPad2(zomg!), and we can play Words with Friends on an airplane. What more could you ask for?
But if we didn't have anything to fear, how would the local news stay on the air? You can only watch stories of cats having a litter of 12 for so long. (Okay, I would actually watch that news everyday.)
This constant cycle of fear however encompasses us all. It's the fear that drives us, but is that fear necessary. Are we doing too much for tomorrow and not living for today? Growing up, it was Alfred E Newman's "What me worry?" that was my driving force for living in the now. Today, it's every American going around saying "Don't worry about it!"
Johnny's "Don't worry about it!" lets us know that everythings going to be okay. No matter what is happening with your love life, your job, or the earth, simply "Don't worry about it!" If you have a not-quite-adopted-half-man-half-child asking you what movie to see, simply let him know that you "Don't plan too much, it may not come out right."
You're right Johnny, why make any plans at all? Afterall, they may not come out right. What if you planned on seeing Transformers 3, but they were sold-out and you had to see Cars 2? What would you do then and how could you seriously look Denny in the face after you promised him Shia LaBeouf?
Instead we say, "Don't worry about it." Worry gets us nothing but lines on our face, and planning gives us nothing but false hope. If the world does end today, seriously don't worry about it. It wasn't something we could have, or should have, planned for.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
"I DEFINITELY have breast cancer!"
When I first heard about The Room, I'll never forget what sold me on it.
I was reading an article (Variety or Entertainment Weekly, I can't recall exactly) that described the "Worst movie ever made." It was called The Room and there were midnight screenings all the time and it had developed a cult following like nothing since Rocky Horror Picture Show. I was familiar and in love with bad movies but this one had passed me by, had passed many of us by, for years.
The writer really hyped it up for being bad and something to behold, comparisons to Troll 2 in terms of level of amazement and all that. It kept on like this but while I was intrigued, while I definitely would have seen it by then, nothing had quite made me say "Must. See. Now."
Not until the writer described a scene in which the mother says "I definitely have breast cancer." and that it was never mentioned before and never mentioned again. This was the line that sold me on the movie. This was the line that forced me and my roommate to call 20 video stores before we finally found one (Thank you Amoeba Records) that had it and we could go buy it and watch immediately.
And so we sat down and watched The Room and were blown away. What an incredible accidental achievement. That's all that really needs to be said right now about how amazing the movie is, I think by now its clear I think the movie is "pretty good"
What really amazed me though is when it hit me afterwards. I never heard this infamous line, "I definitely have breast cancer." How could it be? Was I lied to?
We watched it again, immediately. Of course. Again, we ROFL'd, LOL'd, and LMAO'd. Literally we LMAO'd. I have no A anymore. It is quite depressing. My perfect Tommy Wiseau A...
Anyways, we missed it. Again. Finally, we had to find out exactly when she said it from the interwebs and then go back to that scene and watch intently.
Waiting for it and then boom, it happens. Turns out that Claudette DOES definitely have breast cancer. Unbelievable. Whether it was because we were laughing too hard to pay attention to every line, I don't know. But I still believe the real reason we missed it at least twice was because that's how subtle and insignificant that line was presented. This groundbreaking moment for nearly any mother, child, family, or otherwise was so non-chalantly bandied about for this moment that it not only went right over Lisa's head, it went right over my head too.
Maybe that's why Lisa shows no concern at all. Maybe she missed hearing it. "Did Mom say she had breast cancer? No, she must have said she loves Ted Danson. I love Ted Danson too."
It's funny that this moment hits all of the viewers so hard, and yet for all of the wrong reasons. We are left stunned, jaws slacked, in disbelief, and for all the wrong reasons. But does the reason matter as much as the result, if the desired result is achieved?
Touche Mr Wiseau.
I was reading an article (Variety or Entertainment Weekly, I can't recall exactly) that described the "Worst movie ever made." It was called The Room and there were midnight screenings all the time and it had developed a cult following like nothing since Rocky Horror Picture Show. I was familiar and in love with bad movies but this one had passed me by, had passed many of us by, for years.
The writer really hyped it up for being bad and something to behold, comparisons to Troll 2 in terms of level of amazement and all that. It kept on like this but while I was intrigued, while I definitely would have seen it by then, nothing had quite made me say "Must. See. Now."
Not until the writer described a scene in which the mother says "I definitely have breast cancer." and that it was never mentioned before and never mentioned again. This was the line that sold me on the movie. This was the line that forced me and my roommate to call 20 video stores before we finally found one (Thank you Amoeba Records) that had it and we could go buy it and watch immediately.
And so we sat down and watched The Room and were blown away. What an incredible accidental achievement. That's all that really needs to be said right now about how amazing the movie is, I think by now its clear I think the movie is "pretty good"
What really amazed me though is when it hit me afterwards. I never heard this infamous line, "I definitely have breast cancer." How could it be? Was I lied to?
We watched it again, immediately. Of course. Again, we ROFL'd, LOL'd, and LMAO'd. Literally we LMAO'd. I have no A anymore. It is quite depressing. My perfect Tommy Wiseau A...
Anyways, we missed it. Again. Finally, we had to find out exactly when she said it from the interwebs and then go back to that scene and watch intently.
Waiting for it and then boom, it happens. Turns out that Claudette DOES definitely have breast cancer. Unbelievable. Whether it was because we were laughing too hard to pay attention to every line, I don't know. But I still believe the real reason we missed it at least twice was because that's how subtle and insignificant that line was presented. This groundbreaking moment for nearly any mother, child, family, or otherwise was so non-chalantly bandied about for this moment that it not only went right over Lisa's head, it went right over my head too.
Maybe that's why Lisa shows no concern at all. Maybe she missed hearing it. "Did Mom say she had breast cancer? No, she must have said she loves Ted Danson. I love Ted Danson too."
It's funny that this moment hits all of the viewers so hard, and yet for all of the wrong reasons. We are left stunned, jaws slacked, in disbelief, and for all the wrong reasons. But does the reason matter as much as the result, if the desired result is achieved?
Touche Mr Wiseau.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
A Promise
I'm more ready now than I was then to do this and do it justice. So just a promise: A post day for 2 straight weeks AT LEAST!
OH HAI MOTIVATION!
OH HAI MOTIVATION!
Where's Denny Now?
I think the question everyone wants to know is where is Denny now?
No, not Philip Haldiman, the actor who plays Denny. He apparently works in a bar now?
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Which, I think we can all agree, is shocking. I was sure he'd be off-broadway or in an alley, off of Broadway or Martin Luther King Way.
But where, is "Denny"!!!!
Did he marry Elizabeth after he graduated college? Did he graduate college??? Did Johnny get to adopt Denny when he turned 30? Did he hook up with Lisa now that Johnny is out of the picture?
Questions we won't have answered unless.... I think you know where I'm going with this. Room 2: Denny Where Are You?
No, not Philip Haldiman, the actor who plays Denny. He apparently works in a bar now?
But where, is "Denny"!!!!
Did he marry Elizabeth after he graduated college? Did he graduate college??? Did Johnny get to adopt Denny when he turned 30? Did he hook up with Lisa now that Johnny is out of the picture?
Questions we won't have answered unless.... I think you know where I'm going with this. Room 2: Denny Where Are You?
I should keep this up.
I started this blog with the intention of keeping it running, but keeping a blog running can be taxing. I do believe that The Room deserves a blog with weekly updates, and I will try to do that.
I have recently seen The Room with Rifftrax and wow, what a whole new experience that was. I will definitely have a post on that coming up soon.
Additionally, I may have to add some Birdemic posts because that "film" makes The Room look like a film without quotation marks.
But if I listen to Johnny I'll know that I should not plan too much, it may not come out right.
I have recently seen The Room with Rifftrax and wow, what a whole new experience that was. I will definitely have a post on that coming up soon.
Additionally, I may have to add some Birdemic posts because that "film" makes The Room look like a film without quotation marks.
But if I listen to Johnny I'll know that I should not plan too much, it may not come out right.
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