Thursday, July 14, 2011

"I DEFINITELY have breast cancer!"

When I first heard about The Room, I'll never forget what sold me on it. 

I was reading an article (Variety or Entertainment Weekly, I can't recall exactly) that described the "Worst movie ever made."  It was called The Room and there were midnight screenings all the time and it had developed a cult following like nothing since Rocky Horror Picture Show.  I was familiar and in love with bad movies but this one had passed me by, had passed many of us by, for years. 

The writer really hyped it up for being bad and something to behold, comparisons to Troll 2 in terms of level of amazement and all that.  It kept on like this but while I was intrigued, while I definitely would have seen it by then, nothing had quite made me say "Must. See.  Now." 

Not until the writer described a scene in which the mother says "I definitely have breast cancer." and that it was never mentioned before and never mentioned again.  This was the line that sold me on the movie.  This was the line that forced me and my roommate to call 20 video stores before we finally found one (Thank you Amoeba Records) that had it and we could go buy it and watch immediately. 

And so we sat down and watched The Room and were blown away.  What an incredible accidental achievement.  That's all that really needs to be said right now about how amazing the movie is, I think by now its clear I think the movie is "pretty good" 

What really amazed me though is when it hit me afterwards.  I never heard this infamous line, "I definitely have breast cancer."  How could it be?  Was I lied to? 

We watched it again, immediately.  Of course.  Again, we ROFL'd, LOL'd, and LMAO'd.  Literally we LMAO'd.  I have no A anymore.  It is quite depressing.  My perfect Tommy Wiseau A...

Anyways, we missed it.  Again.  Finally, we had to find out exactly when she said it from the interwebs and then go back to that scene and watch intently. 

Waiting for it and then boom, it happens.  Turns out that Claudette DOES definitely have breast cancer.  Unbelievable.  Whether it was because we were laughing too hard to pay attention to every line, I don't know.  But I still believe the real reason we missed it at least twice was because that's how subtle and insignificant that line was presented.  This groundbreaking moment for nearly any mother, child, family, or otherwise was so non-chalantly bandied about for this moment that it not only went right over Lisa's head, it went right over my head too. 

Maybe that's why Lisa shows no concern at all.  Maybe she missed hearing it.  "Did Mom say she had breast cancer?  No, she must have said she loves Ted Danson.  I love Ted Danson too." 

It's funny that this moment hits all of the viewers so hard, and yet for all of the wrong reasons.  We are left stunned, jaws slacked, in disbelief, and for all the wrong reasons.  But does the reason matter as much as the result, if the desired result is achieved?

Touche Mr Wiseau.


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  8. maggie.danhakl@healthline.comJuly 23, 2014 at 9:37 AM

    Hello Jerry,

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    Healthline • The Power of Intelligent Health
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