Monday, August 15, 2011

Chocolate: The Symbol of Love or Not?

Whip cream.
Chocolate sauce.
Maybe you throw a banana in there.
I don't know, I haven't seen 9 and a half weeks in awhile. 

What's definitely missing from that list?

Giant chocolates.  Did you know that chocolate is actually not the symbol of love?  I know what you're thinking, "But blogger, of course it is.  I have seen it in movie." Oh hai, Johnny, I didn't see you there.  You're my favorite reader.

I know two things for sure when I'm making out with a girl:
1. I'm conflicted because I know that it's awesome that this girl is making out with me, but I really have to question her ability to make good decisions because she is making out with me.  Is it my birthday?
2. The last thing I want is a giant chocolate shoved down my throat.

This wasn't out of a Whitmans Sampler.  Mike would take about 45 seconds to even finish chewing.  He either really listened to his parents or Danny Tanner when told "chew you food 36 times when eating!" or he was really struggling to finish a chocolate that was easily the size of an infant's fist.

So, the next time you're beginning a love-making session remember not to incorporate baseball-sized foods.  Don't shove two handfuls of Werther's Originals down your partners throat or pants.  Don't splash hot soup in their face.  Do I really need to point these things out?

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