In the tune of The Sound of Silence
Oh hai Mark, my old friend
I'm on the roof with you again
Because I am softly weeping
I don't know where Lisa's sleeping
And the secret that was planted in my brain
Within the sound of "Oh Hai"
Is Lisa with another man?
I establish shots of San Fran
Standing in front of this green screen
I toss the football with my team
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of my naked butt
As I strut
And touched the sound of "Oh Hai"
And when my film debut big screen
Ten or so people maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never shared
No one dared
Disturb the sound of "Oh hai"
"Oh hai," said I, "you do not know
Claudette's cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
This tape recorder will repeat you"
But my words like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of "Oh Hai"
And the people cried and said
Is Johnny really dead?
And the sign flashed out its warning
As Denny was still mourning
And the sign said "The words of Tommy Wiseau are written on the BART
Oh Hai Mark
And whispered in the sound of "Oh hai!"